100 Funny And Entertaining Science Jokes For All Ages
Everyone has a science joke or two up their sleeve. Whether your love of science came from solving problems with your science teacher, or from episodes of “Bill Nye the Science Guy,” it’s safe to say that there’s something about the way the physical and natural world works that is thrilling.
There are so many topics to talk about within the subject of science and they open up a world of possibilities for jokes to play. With that said, here are some of the funniest, cutest and weirdest science jokes for your laughing pleasure.
100 Funny Science Jokes and Puns 1. Why did the chemist read the book on helium so quickly?
Answer: He couldn’t lower it.
2. How do you divide the sea in half?
Answer: With a sea saw.
3. How do geologists ask each other?
Answer: They say, “Are you a carbon sampler? Because I would like to meet you.”
4. Why did the physicist and the biologist part?
Answer: There was no chemistry.
5. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
Answer: Because he has no one to go with.
6. What is a pirate’s favorite element?
Answer: Aaaaaargon!
7. Why can you never trust atoms?
Answer: They make up everything.
8. What do computers like to eat?
Answer: French fries.
9. Why do plants hate algebra?
Answer: Give the square root.
10. What kind of hair do the oceans have?
Answer: Wavy hair.
11. What is a cation afraid of?
Answer: Dogions!
12. Where does the bad light end?
Answer: In a prism.
13. What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
Answer: An iron wheel.
14. Have you heard about the neutron that was arrested?
Answer: He was released without charge.
15. Why are men sexier than women?
Answer: You can’t write sex without XY
16. Why is YouTube’s pH so stable?
Answer: Because it is constantly buffering.
17. What do you call acid with an attitude?
Answer: A-mean-oh-acid.
18. Why did the scientist take out the doorbell?
Answer: He wanted to win the prize without the bell.
19. Why are chemists great at solving problems?
Answer: They have all the solutions.
20. Two blood cells met and fell in love.
Answer: Alas, it was all in the works.
21. I lost an electron.
Answer: Are you positive?
22. What do protons and life coaches have in common?
Answer: They know how to stay positive.
23. Why does the cloud date the fog?
Answer: Because he was so down to earth.
24. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
Answer: You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.
25. Where did the chemist have lunch?
Answer: In a periodic table.
26. What did the protesters chant in front of the physics laboratory?
Answer: What do we want? Travel time! When do we want it? Not important!
27. What did the dog say to his owner?
Answer: “My favorite frequency is 50,000 hertz, but you’ve probably never heard of it.”
28. What did one tectonic plate say when it collided with another?
Answer: Excuse me, my fault?
29. What kinds of books are the hardest to get hold of?
Answer: Friction books.
30. Since light travels faster than sound…
Answer: People can seem smart until you hear them speak.
31. What do you call the self-portrait of a biologist?
Answer: A cel-fie.
32. How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
Answer: Shocked!
33. Why were the Romans so bad at algebra?
Answer: They always ended with X is 10.
34. What moves faster: Hot or cold?
Answer: Hot because you can catch a cold!
35. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
A: The food is great, but there is no atmosphere!
36. How much space do mushrooms need to grow?
Answer: As many mushrooms as possible.
37. How often do I joke about chemistry?
Answer: Periodically.
38. What is an astronaut’s favorite keyboard key?
Answer: Space bar.
39. Why did the microbe overcome the microscope?
Answer: To go to the next slide.
40. What did one ion say to the other?
Answer: I have my ion to you.
41. What kind of music do the planets dance to?
Answer: Neptunes.
42. Why don’t magnets have pairs?
Answer: Because they are polar opposites!
43. Do you know the name Pavlov?
Answer: A bell rings.
44. How easy is it to count in binary?
Answer: It’s as easy as 01 10 11.
45. What is the least interesting element?
Answer: Bohrium.
46. Have you heard about the famous microbiologist who traveled to 40 different countries and learned to speak seven languages?
Answer: He was a man of many different cultures.
47. What was the first animal to go into space?
Answer: The cow that jumped on the moon.
48. Where do astronauts leave their spaceships?
Answer: To parking meteors.
49. What kind of books do planets usually like to read?
Answer: Comet books.
50. What did one cell say to its sister cell when she stepped on his toe?
Answer: Oh! This is mitosis!
51. What did the positive charge say to the negative charge after their date?
Answer: We have potential.
52. Want to hear a joke about potassium?
Answer: K.
53. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
Answer: You rocket.
54. What did Earth say to the other planets?
Answer: You guys have no life.
55. What is a nuclear physicist’s favorite snack?
Answer: Partition chips.
56. How did the astronaut cook dinner in outer space?
Answer: In flying saucers.
57. What kind of dog do chemists own?
Answer: A laboratory.
58. What to do when no one laughs at your science jokes?
Answer: Keep trying until you get a response.
59. What did the photo say to the hotel clerk when he was asked if he needed help with his luggage?
Answer: No, I’m traveling light.
60. Why did oxygen, hydrogen and carbon wear suits and ties?
Answer: They were a formyl band.
61. What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife?
Answer: I washed you.
62. How do we know that Saturn was married more than once?
Answer: Because there are many rings.
63. What was the name of the first Electricity Detective?
Answer: Sherlock Ohms.
64. What did the dung beetle say when he entered the bar?
A: Excuse me, is this bench taken?
65. What do you call the educated pipe?
Answer: A graduated cylinder.
66. Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school?
Answer: Because there were already a thousand degrees.
67. Why is electricity the perfect student?
Answer: She is very well behaved.
68. Have you heard of oxygen and magnesium coming together?
Answer: Omg!
69. Why is ice so nervous?
Answer: Because it was water before it cooled!
70. No matter how popular antibiotics are, what is one thing they can never be?
Answer: viral.
71. Have you heard about the girl who got cold to absolute zero?
Answer: It is 0K now
72. What do you call the accountant for the biology department?
Answer: A buyer-ologist.
73. What’s wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon and Yttrium?
Answer: It is Y corn
74. What did the stamen say to the pistil?
A: I like your style.
75. What did the biologist wear to impress his date?
Answer: Designer genes.
76. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man got together, what would they do?
Answer: Links.
Related Stories from YourTango: 77. Why is it so hard to wake up in the morning?
Answer: Because of Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
78. What do you do with a sick biochemist?
Answer: If you can’t use helium, and you can’t use curium, then you might as well have barium.
79. What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
Answer: A Pi-thon.
80. Why doesn’t a proton talk to another proton?
Answer: He is a crazy atom.
81. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
Answer: Pull his genes.
82. What did the proton say to the electron to start a war?
A: I’m sick of your negativity.
83. How do you organize a party in space?
Answer: You plan.
84. Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron so popular?
Answer: It is free.
85. Why did the chemist hang posters of the periodic table everywhere?
A: It made him feel like he was in his element.
86. What did the helpless T cell say when faced with infection?
Answer: Are there antibodies there?
87. Why is the diet advice to ‘eat lightly’ so dangerous?
Answer: This is how you become a black hole.
88. Why do scholars look forward to Friday?
Answer: They can wear genes to work.
89. What sound does the subatomic duck make?
Answer: Quark.
90. What type of fish consists of 2 sodium atoms?
Answer: 2 Na.
91. What did the science book say to the math book?
Answer: You have problems.
92. What did the scientist say to the chemist whose lab smelled like eggs?
Answer: Sorry for your sulphur.
93. Why did the amoeba cross the road?
Answer: It was time to part.
94. Want to hear a chemistry pun?
A: I’m in my element!
95. Why don’t geologists like scary movies?
Answer: Because they are hardened.
96. What do phlebotomists say before they take your blood?
Answer: B positive!
97. What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade?
Answer: Bio-degradable.
98. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Answer: Twister.
99. How does a scientist refresh her spirit?
Answer: By experiments.
100. What did the limestone tell the geologist?
Answer: Don’t take me for granite.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. It covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.
