Seattle Dude Tries To Pull Off The “Office Space” Scheme, Is Swiftly Caught Syphoning $300,000+ From His Company

(SOURCE ($$$))

A Seattle man has been arrested by police and charged with stealing $302,279 in a scheme lifted straight from the hit movie “Office Space.”

Ermenildo “Ernie” Castro faces two counts of aggravated burglary and one count of identity theft. The affidavit alleges Castro ran a series of schemes starting last February, following a three-year career with the Zulily company. Officials say he changed computer code in his employer’s systems to redirect a small portion of shipping charges from customer purchases to an account he controlled. The company’s fraud team quickly spotted the discrepancy.

He was placed on leave in early June and fired shortly thereafter. When Castro handed over his company laptop, Zulily found a document titled “Office Space Project” detailing the transportation scheme. Police say he accepted the code change, but say the company was aware of the changes.

Office Space is a perfect satirical take on the daily rat race that is life. It affects everything; complete disdain for bosses and the workplace, relationships and slowly learning not to despair of anything as you grow older. It has become a bible of sorts for me, if you will, as I one day aspire to have the ability to do nothing. Just lie down, watch TV, eat what I want and when I want and generally just disconnect from everyone and everything around me.

Oh, and if my GF dated a guy like Bill Lumbergh, I’d never be able to leave her either

It also delivers the playbook from one of the all-time great rushes. Off the top of my head, there are two movies detailing perfect, PERFECT get-rich-quick schemes. One of them is Inside Man with Denzel and Clive Owen, the other is of course, Office Space.

If you’ve seen Office Space and you don’t think to yourself that it’s the perfect crime, you’re a crazy person… as long as you put the decimal point in the right place, that is. If you pop that decimal point right where it should be, it’s good to sit back, relax, and hook it up in the Caribbean with Milton and his red cap in a few years. Just tread water until then.

Shouldn’t it?

Yes, you will go to federal “kick my ass” prison.

And that seems to be where ol’ Ernie Castro is headed. See, the guy had the right idea. Like I said, if executed properly, it’s not just a victimless crime. But a perfect crime.

However, this cat Ernie Castro just doesn’t know how to commit crimes. Take it from me, a person who grew up in a time where you had to illegally download porn online. I’m stupid, but I would never leave those illegally downloaded Limewire files in the folders titled “Busty Bond gets creamed in the ass”.

No no no no. “Don’t Leave a Cookie Trail” is the first lesson in Criminal How-To 101.

That’s why my illegally downloaded porn files were getting hidden folders with common titles like “2005 White Sox stats” and “Crazy Games” and other titles meant to throw my family members off the scent. Ernie should have known better when he was in the process of skimming $300,000 from his employer. Being from the Seattle area, he would have to label the file “Pete Carrol should be crucified for not giving the ball to the best RB in football at the goal line” or something along those lines.

Not “OfficeSpace Project”. Investigators will be able to put 2 and 2 together quickly.

PS – the guy who played Michael Bolton should have won best actor for the work he did in Office Space. Masterful performance. I could feel his anger as he took the stick to the printer in the middle of that field. Just great anger in his eyes. Excellent work. However, the crime is despicable